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photos

sorry, the photos are wierd sizes and i can't quite figure out the layout.  i'll change it as soon as i can - i'm still updating a lot of photos to the blog.

sweet weekend back, with a little shoving for displacement

big news!  anna is moving to london or palo alto, not sure which one yet, but they'll be traveling in china for 4-5 months and then off to a new adventure!  i'm going to miss her.  i'll plan a visit, and must introduce her to kimmu if she goes to london.  after we met up, i had a hard time getting a cab on the way to dinner since it was rush hour, and so i decided to take the subway.  idiotic idea.  predictably, like animals, people jumped into the car until the doors slammed on their bodies, and yet still more tried.  bodies and business bags were pushed right into my tummy and almost crushed the gift i bought for steve & wangting.  the next person who carelessly leaned on me even after i told him i was pregnant, a guy over 6 foot tall, i punched in the arm. super hard.  i'm not proud of it, but he would have landed on the baby without even thinking about it.  eventhough i was okay, and reasoned i was taken over by reflex, i felt deeply upset at being so ugly because other people were ugly, and hating being so aggressive.  i felt like crying it was such a familiar, hard feeling.  when calvin called me to tell me how to board the next train and not to worry - he was on the same train to jingan si as i was, i was just sad.  we decided for me not to take the subway anymore and i told him i didn't like living here in the land of jerks. i wanted to go back home.

that night we had an dinner at steve + wangting's beautiful custom-designed home in hongqiao with the rest of calvin's svp group to celebrate their MARRIAGE!  they went to city hall yesterday, and showed us the photos of them standing behind this crazy communist looking booth with huge fake peony arrangement from the 1970s, where steve held their red book certificates in one hand, and his beautiful bride in the other.  it was pretty cool, and calvin immediately complained that we didn't have such a photo.  their minimalist, elegant apartment is filled with carefully and beautifully chosen artwork, a grand piano, a buttery leather black sofa, and a closet for over 100 pairs of shoes.  the most amazing thing, was the underfloor heating (all by heated tubes of water) which is such a godsend here in shanghai.  apparently annie and carter moved close by as well!  it was a bit like living in brooklyn, it's not that far from the city center, but quiet and you get a lot more space.  i absolutely loved the decor.  before the night was over, i informed them i wasn't leaving.

saturday, we planned on dinner at danyeu's restaurant, "eat, drink man woman" with gary and shannon, but as the week went by, it turned into a large get together with friends we hadn't seen since we left.  it was wonderful to see so many familiar faces, it actually almost felt like when we were in new york and seeing our friends after a long spell.  gary and shannon pulled the trigger on a high-ceilinged, gorgeous spot for their dj store and teaching space, kk & caleb survived their first cny in shanghai, jd's hand had healed and was all smiles after a visit to carol in the states, and liana and jeff looked cozy as 2 peas in a pod.  the uber-hip ceilen and scott explained what the original plan was for steve & wangting's place, and even if he wasn't an architect, he had to call the ugly police and fix up the place.  when we caught up with liana, her usual spikey hair grown out enough to put in little pigtails, she started crying she was so happy for us, which made me get choked up.  adele was very flattering when i announced how fat i felt and mike patted calvin on the back, and said "donovan" was a good name. i finally met kristina who had just moved from paris, is taking wu-shu kung fu lessons and learning chinese, and hoped she'd like our friends too.

it's not to say that the experience in the subway is forgotten, or the myriad of other sufferings of living in a developing city can be ignored, and certainly we miss our friends and family back in the states.  but reflecting on the table full of close friends who have shared in our self-discoveries and hard-won treasures over the past 2 years, i wonder if what and where home is, isn't growing more complex.  and if the twist in this love story is that our hearts have unexpectedly grown quite fond of this crazy city, even with all it's glaring faults.

well, let's see how romantic we feel tomorrow after the fabric market when heads roll over an overpriced piece of velvet and stinky tofu smells warm the frosty air.

oriented

oriented is an organization i volunteer for in my spare time, that i was introduced to by my friend lauren.   here is my goofy profile.  the event that we held tonight focused on hospitality and tourism, but we try to touch upon all sorts of topical issues in shanghai.  the first one we did was media (actually how i found my job by meeting jie shen at smg), and have covered investing, career development, consumer marketing and real estate in shanghai, too.  these speaker events were coined "dialogue & exchanges" and are usually held at the super-swanky haworth studios.  the speakers touched on how as more of the world opens up to chinese tourists, learning about other parts of the world is becoming a new local standard for "success", and that consumer behavior is quickly becoming more discriminatory.

everyone was shocked to see how big my belly has gotten, and the little guy definitely got a lot of attention.  he moved around a lot when viviana touched my tummy, so he most definitely likes pretty girls!  it was fun seeing everyone again, especially lauren and sylvie who i hadn't seen in a long time, and i definitely feel energetic and like my old self again.  syvlie is moving back to frace in march to get married and settle down in lille, so that's a piece of happy-sad news.  she'll be missed. 

happy san valentine's

cal had meetings with shanghai venture partners (svp) and a presentation at tongji university this morning in puxi so he was home when i got up!  he gave me a valentine & yummy swiss-thins before i was fully awake.  as luck would have it, i was able to race over to the shimen yilou starbucks down the street after work where he had just finished up a meeting, and guess who else was there?  viviana, and her friend sofia!  she called jerry and we all had lunch together at onion, a new restaurant close to jerry's office.  calvin marveled, so this is what it's like to live and work in puxi!  ahhh, the spontaneity of city life.  so nice!

we decided to skip massages since it was cold and rainy not chance me feeling any worse, and stay home.  calvin made brought home humungous red roses and made the now famous pizza-ola (sauted chicken breasts with tomato sauce and melted mozzarella on a bed of mushroom rice, a favorite comfort dish served by chef calvie), and i made a japanese lemon pudding pie.  we watched a preston sturges because we felt like a romantic comedy.  the rain pelted at the window, we huddled warmly together with my big belly and laughed at eric blor, and i felt like the luckiest woman in the world.  like i do on any other night, just relaxing and being together.  you make me so happy, calvin!

a huge around-the-world hug and kiss to you!  happy valentine's day!

peabody, mass?

wow, i just found out mommers and pc might be moving to peabody soon.  what big news!  new englanders!  he got a good job offer there, and they're figuring out their next steps.  she might not even be able to make it for the delivery with pc graduating from his m.b.a. program and moving in may.  i'm so happy for them, though, this is a great option for them.  either way, peabody is a closer to new york or palo alto than jacksonville, although they'll keep jacksonville as their homebase.  i wish them all the best - i only wish i could help them move in may, but there's no way i can go. 

i tried walking home from work today because it was so nice (my first day back after being sick) and my back is killing me.  i think i overdid it.  i was just getting so cooped up last week, and annoyed that i couldn't go out i wanted to walk around.  i stopped by muji to buy some stuff i need for after the delivery, and a store to buy him more cute things he really, really, really doesn't need but i like, so... it's an illness, i know.  i had better use the back support colleen gave me, and start walking slowly, maybe just to the portman tomorrow, and then work my way up to walking home next month.  who knows, maybe soon we'll be moved!  actually, maybe we'll have bought auntie tamie & uncle richard's place.  wouldn't that be crazy?

i'm touched that mommers how much effort she's put in to think of good name for him with everything going on.  she said in her e-mail that she has thought of 2 so far, and that in addition to culturally significant elements, they both connote water, or the ocean, since he'll be born in shanghai.

sesame ball kicks for the lantern festival

either the baby is getting much bigger, i lost some weight, or he was scared out of his mind, but i felt the first real kicking - or fluttering - tonight.  my throat has also started feeling better because when i laugh there is sound.  so mommers WAS right about that awful warm salt water gargle thing.

at first, it was really charming.  calvin and i went to the patio to look at the fireworks and eat our glutinous sesame rice balls and hold hands.  soon, BOOM!  BOOM!  BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM!!  machine-gun firework debris was rat-tat-tatting our window, and flame after flame of green, purple, red and then yellow light washed over the room and each other.  it was scary.  cal was like, um, maybe we should watch from our livingroom, sweetie.  actually, it was still just as loud, and even in dining room i could feel him jumping around.   calvin got me his favorite squishy muji pillow. here, use this, he must be freaked out!

last year, at gary's, we all stood outside and even lit a lot of fireworks ourselves.  we got tipsy, and watched from gary's place as tons of fireworks went off for chinese new years.  wonder if its just shannon and gary are outside kickin' up shit. mabye tigger and go go have their own little fireworks too, although dunno if they would feel like celebrating year of the dog.

anna banana spa

hoping to meet up with anna for facials at mandara spa, but i can't lie on my back.  not only is it uncomfortable, but the blood flow to my uterus is cut off so the little guy isn't getting what he needs.  it's kind of crazy, that something like me lying on my back can affect someone so greatly.  lately, i've felt kind of disconnected from him while i've been sick this past week.  could have something to do with the x-large pjs i've been wearing that don't make me look pregnant, just bloated and chubby.

we usually grab lunch at sakura-do, a little japanese cafe on xinle lu that serves a very nice curry bento set, which includes a soda and ice-cream.  afterwards, frangipani is just down the street, and when the weather is nice, we don flip flops and walk down xinle lu shopping and catching up.  photographer, artist, writer, traveler, she's an interesting girl.

i really appreciate how supportive she's been about the pregnancy too - even suggested that we take a photography class to take photos of the baby and offered to babysit when i shared the news with her. i was pretty nervous about telling my friends about it at first, not sure if it meant that  since i'd be more limited in what i could do if they'd be as eager to hang out.  i guess a lot of things will change.  but my ashy skin is here to stay, don't worry little man!

shanghai: destination milktoast

i officially hate traveling while pregnant.  or traveling this much.  i felt so claustrophobic on the plane, if it wasn't for forcing myself to go to sleep, i think i would have raked the walls clean and eaten all the luggage.  20 hours.  i  couldn't even feign excitement when calvin presented me with a really cute new camera in tokyo.  i wanted to go home.

when we landed in pudong, our driver didn't meet us, but the taxi-line guy was nice enough to call us a "mian bao che", which means a truck delivering bread, or any vehicle that is just bread-shaped, usually a van or truck.  calvin slept on the way into the city, as i watched the darkness lead to empty pudong apartments lead to neon lit-highways lead to pudong oriental tv tower lead to the huashan lu exit, to jiuguang, to the paramount, to wuning road, to home.

i've caught a bad cold & cough and have been in bed for the past week.  but even as my frostly lungs quickly felt how chilly it is the moment we entered our poorly insulated apartment, i was overjoyed to see what we call "mian bao chuang" or, milk toast bed.  (i designed the bedframe for a futon, but we decided to get a mattress for comfort, so it looks like a giant piece of japanese milk toast.  in the winter, we toast it with the electric blanket).  but my sickness has meant that i've had to stay indoors, which is so frustating because i have an enormous "to-do" list, and am stuck like a lump on toast.  not to mention, i've been itching to go back to work and see my friends.  and the oriented event is in a week or so. 

so most of my time has been eaten up by things i can do on the computer in between naps, like making lots of  stress-inducing spreadsheets with themes like "plan for the future after the baby" and "things we still urgently need to buy for the baby" and "get better now so you can exercise, fat ass" and "what are you doing with your life and career, aren't you depending too much on your husband" which leads to counterprodctive heavy breathing and anxiety headaches.  after frightening myself about the expenses and lack of freedom we will experience in less than 5 months (oh yes, and intense labor pains) while needing cal so much financially & emotionally, i shut my overheated computer and am now trying to take a nap.  i have run out of things to be stressed out about, and needed to use my imagination to dream up some more.

more cali to come

sorry!  more to come.